Shame.

I know what I am doing is wrong. I know I shouldn’t feel what I feel. But that’s not going to keep me from doing what I am doing.

I deserve to escape and have a moment of bliss. Even if I’m doing it wrong, even if it’s inexcusable.

To spare HIS feelings, I need to hide mine.

When did it come to this? When did it become impossible for me to show my feelings? Who the hell am I?

I allow myself a few hours of happiness. I let loose, I don’t think of anyone or anything else. It’s those few hours that get me through the rest of the week, it’s what keeps me sane.

It’s at those moments, that I am myself. I feel empowered, and my ego is through the roof. I feel beautiful, and loved. I hear what I want to hear, and I take it all in. I am selfish with no regrets.

And there’s no guilt. That’s the best part.

In a blink of an eye, it’s all over. And I return to where I belong, to where I’m supposed to be, where I promised I would stay.

I ask myself, do I have no shame?

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