I hate days like today. When my mind is jumbled up. Words are flying in and out of my head but nothing makes sense. I’m attempting to gain some clarity as I go, and maybe writing will help. 

I guess we all have off days sometimes, but I definitely allowed today to get the best of me. It’s 5:08pm and I’ve been in bed for most of the day. There’s no desire to sleep, but I lack the energy to get out of bed and do something productive. 

Today I will allow myself to do absolutely NOTHING. Not even feel. I don’t wanna feel anything. I’ll worry tomorrow. I’ll be useful tomorrow. But today, today I’m gonna sulk. And cry. 

& maybe tomorrow I’ll hate myself less for the things I’ve done, for the stupid decisions I’ve made. 

When the fuck did things get so messed up? 

Today I don’t do or feel anything.