Of all the things you could think about, and that’s what you choose? Why do you do this to yourself? Constantly searching for something that makes you hurt. Is it because you think you deserve it? Have we not made peace with the past? When will this pattern be broken? When will you realize that today matters. Not yesterday. And certainly not tomorrow. Is it possible that you have not forgiven yourself? You repeat it time after time, “you are not your past, you are not your mistakes” yet again, once more, it returns to torment you. You allow it to torment you. Because deep down you know, that this is what you deserve. Because deep down you believe this is what you should put yourself through. You SHOULD hurt, and so you do. When is it going to be enough? Whose to say you’ve not already paid your debt? When will you stop?
When will you quit this self destructive play?