Tired. 

It must get tiring to live that way. Always questioning if what is given to you will be taken away. Accustomed to broken promises and fake apologies. Always on stand by, keeping a close watch. Quietly choosing what to accept; what to reject before it rejects you. Because who better than yourself to decide what you are worthy of. Am I worthy of your loving? Secretly hoping that someone will tear through. But how? When you’re so good at keeping them out. Secrets weighing down your heart, untold stories replaying in your head. And it’s toxic, but you do it anyways. Self punishment you say. So you limit yourself to how much happiness you feel, because you think it’s fair. God forbid you take it all in just to have it taken away. You know better than that, this is the price to pay. 

I won’t let myself forget. 

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