How could I have not fallen in love with you? When your very presence brings me a sense of calm, of peace. When your lips taste of sugar. When your hands bring security. When your eyes hold the truth. Your hugs uphold me, each one piecing me back together. Slowly and surely. Almost makes me wonder if I were ever broken to begin with. I want you in every sense of the word. I want you early in the mornings and late at nights. Between every thought. What more can I do for you, my love? No doubt in this mind of mine. No other desire, no other wants. No questions to be asked.
You are home. You are mine.
And I’m forever yours.
Trying my best not to allow any irrational thoughts to surface. Trying to feel less crazy. Learning to let people who love me, love me. I’d like to free my mind from all the negativity going on, I don’t want to be a prisoner of my own memory. I’d like to know a life where the mind isn’t in a constant battle between what if’s or but’s or why’s. I’ve come to the realization that I’ve allowed the past to linger on longer than it should. I’ve allowed the past to live in the present and it’s been confusing. Chasing after silence, what is it like? What is it like not to be caged by your thoughts? By worry? By guilt? By insecurities? Learning to reject my own self punishment, learning to love myself, to forgive myself… learning to believe that I am good enough, that I am lovely. Lessening the self doubt, the shame, the craving of everyone else’s approval. Haunted by the past, a ghost in the present, dead to the future.. the heart desires to live, to love, to laugh. To breathe. To heal.
Let it. Allow it. Open it.
Silence it. The loudness of my inner being are no longer welcomed.
Speak it into existence, there is hope. You are love.
And you are worthy of all good things.
A combination of everything beautiful.
Non disruptive to my peace.
A giver of all good things.
Good to my soul, good for my heart.
A reminder that prayers work.
Tender kisses, hugs that heal.
Consumer of my thoughts.
Thief of my imagination.
Patience and forgiveness.
Foundation to a real future.
A chance at real love.
The purpose behind every smile.
A piece of sanity.