Trying my best not to allow any irrational thoughts to surface. Trying to feel less crazy. Learning to let people who love me, love me. I’d like to free my mind from all the negativity going on, I don’t want to be a prisoner of my own memory. I’d like to know a life where the mind isn’t in a constant battle between what if’s or but’s or why’s. I’ve come to the realization that I’ve allowed the past to linger on longer than it should. I’ve allowed the past to live in the present and it’s been confusing. Chasing after silence, what is it like? What is it like not to be caged by your thoughts? By worry? By guilt? By insecurities? Learning to reject my own self punishment, learning to love myself, to forgive myself… learning to believe that I am good enough, that I am lovely. Lessening the self doubt, the shame, the craving of everyone else’s approval. Haunted by the past, a ghost in the present, dead to the future.. the heart desires to live, to love, to laugh. To breathe. To heal.
Let it. Allow it. Open it.
Silence it. The loudness of my inner being are no longer welcomed.
Speak it into existence, there is hope. You are love.
And you are worthy of all good things.